Mustache Bash 2014

Watch the video. show up. words fall short in moments like these. I punched a hole in a wall because of this video, you should probably do the same.

G2G

Julio

Late Christmas

Christmas came late in Grantham this year. a whole two months late. but alas, we have new mittens for the cold weather. Some guys have taken a liking to our new gloves, even so much as to enjoy their favorite cereal in them. 

God is good. 

Better Late Than Never

One of our very own took his talents to the dance floor this past homecoming. Not only did he kill it in the middle of the circle, but also prompted one of the oldest maneuvers in the book: The Oreo. Who doesn't love a little white boy in the middle?

 

G2G

Merry Laxmas

What is Christmas without a tree? Sure, we got in trouble for it, but the scrooges of Mountain View cannot quench the Christmas spirit. It's finals week and nothing quite eases the tension like a quick listen to Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas is You". 

Merry Laxmas from the Penthouse boys and the Men of Messiah Lacrosse 

G2G

Sloth Sighting

This picture needs no introduction and needs no explanation. I was strolling past Lottie on my way to chapel and saw this baby sloth in his natural habitat. 

enjoy. 

Glory to God. 

Meet The Baby Falcons

It's that time of year again. Campus is stirring with new faces, a new group of guys, and a new coach. After a summer off, it was great to get back together with the crew. Losing 9 Seniors last year was tough for us, but Coach succeeded in bringing in some gems.

Here's the new faces that will be joining us this season.

Matthew “The Tank” Franken

                                                                  

 Although he shakes it like Miley, Matthew Franken is not a butt model. He comes from the great white north some call Michigan. His hobbies include knitting, baking, and playing with and taking his 8-pound guinea pigs for their nightly saunter through the parks of Holland. His favorite color is beige and he enjoys musty smelling cologne. Fun fact about “The Tank” is he has been cast for the 22^nd Season of the hit TV show “The Bachelor”. Matthew looks to study dance performance here at Messiah and is most looking forward to community bathrooms.

Isaac “Ball So Hard” Zorn

Turning down the opportunity to attend the School of Hard Knocks, Isaac Zorn brings his talents and extremely hairy chest to Grantham, Pennsylvania. When Isaac isn’t studying, he can be found instructing Zumba in the second floor of Mountain View or helping the elderly across the dangerous streets of Harrisburg. His passions include reading Victorian-Era literature, writing poetry, and a nice pair of business slacks (non-pleated, naturally). He boasts the record for most kittens saved out of trees in Kansas City, a whopping 58 helpless felines.

Ryan “Larry Bird” Van Bochoven

Coming in at six feet, six inches, Ryan is the tallest of the baby Falcons joining the nest. After dunking on an eleven-foot hoop, his parents decided it was finally time for him to skip the second grade. He was promptly shipped of to Europe to play as starting center for the New Yorker Phantoms Braunschweig, a premier organization of Germany’s finest ballers. Last year, he led his team in blocked shots, rebounds, and free throw percentage in practice. He can be found wearing hats all around campus to conceal his identity as a professional basketball player.

Andrew “Make Peace, Not Love” Tyson

In this photo, you see Mister Andrew Tyson in his rawest of forms. We are blessed with great privilege of having Tyson back after his lengthy stint as a member of the Peace Corp. He heads up a support group, meeting on Friday nights from five to eleven to talk about feelings, the economy, recycling, and the ever-growing, ever-popular teen sensation One Direction. When not in the gym doing crossfit, “Make Peace, Not Love” can be found wading through the Breeches getting in touch with his inner being.

Samuel “Stanky Leg” Stengel

Sam “Stanky Leg” Stengel hails from the hardest, realest, inner-city suburb of St. Louis. His pastimes include captaining the powderpuff team, collecting Air Force Ones and interning for the local waste management plant. Aside from his uncanny resemblance of sophomore Brooks Arnold, “Stanky Leg” is one of a kind. Now enough about him, and more about the Buster to his left. Are those Halloween leggings, or scandalous socks?

Max “Baywatch” Williamson

Step aside David Hasselhoff, there’s a new sheriff in town. Max’s modeling career really took off last week when Cosmopolitan and Seventeen started following him on Instagram. His impeccable use of Insta filters really extenuates his belly button and bosoms. He is majoring in engineering with a minor in performance. His schedule this semester is riddled with acting courses due to his interest in a career with the Disney channel. Look to see “Baywatch” Max on your local newsstands and keep an eye out for Max on the packaging of your next underwear purchase.

Jacob “Weight Training Guru” Artuso

Jacob Artuso is the next Jillian Michaels. He’s quiet and reserved, but once he hits the gym, things get real. He resides in the stomping grounds of mythical beast and recent grad Brian Meenan. He spent the summer whipping Sydney Crosby and the Penguins into shape for the coming season. Although they will be in top physical shape, the “Weight Training Guru” can’t help the fact that they seem to choke in the playoffs every single year. Fun Fact, Mr. Artuso collects Hot Wheels cars and stores them in a lock box under his bed.

Justin “Just Legs” Bradley

Justin Bradley comes to us with fewer words spoken than any other baby Falcon. Legend has it that Justin’s voice is comparable to that of Will Ferrell’s in the movie Step Brothers. Not only is it impossible to look him in the eyes, but he will also bring tears to your eyes with the sheer sound of his voice. Aside from incredible pipes, his physique is impeccable. His legs can be likened to that of a horse. Fun Fact: as an infant, he modeled for Gerber. When asked he favorite flavor, he responded, Mashed Asparagus and Rice.

Amongst these guys are a slew of walk-ons, which will get their own introduction later.

Here's to a new year, with a new coach, a new team, and a new Brossiah Blog Poster.

Glory to God.